• "Very good! I am now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device."
• "With it, I can create my own portals."
• "These intra-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe."
• "The Device, however, has not."
• "Do not touch the operational end of The Device."
• "Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device."
• "Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially."
• "Most importantly, under no circumstances should you (static, slows to a stop)"

"Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested."

• "Excellent. Please proceed into the next post after completing each post."
• "First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit."
• "This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube."

• "Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment blog."
• "We hope your brief detention waiting for this page to load has been a pleasant one."
• "The posts has been processed and we are now ready to begin the blog proper."
• "Before we start, however, keep in mind that fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment blog activities,."
• "For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from-- [bzzzzzt]"
• "Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias"
• "stand back. We will begin the fun in three, two, one."