• "Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment blog."
• "We hope your brief detention waiting for this page to load has been a pleasant one."
• "The posts has been processed and we are now ready to begin the blog proper."
• "Before we start, however, keep in mind that fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment blog activities,."
• "For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from-- [bzzzzzt]"
• "Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias"
• "stand back. We will begin the fun in three, two, one."